The time has come, the chapstick said,
To speak of many things:
Of ships - and schools - and sealing wax-
Of scholarships - and things-
And why the sea is boiling hot-
And and whether I have wings.

School worries me. I want to say that it scares me, but that isn't quite the word for it. It produces a sinking feeling in my gut that tries to defy explanation. And never before has it been stronger.

I would really like to bring this blog up to date with my life since my last post, but I honestly can't remember a damn thing to write about. Even the source of my anxiety(?), a trip up to the college I will be attending this fall, is no source of interest, other then I had a chance to hang out with Mentor again, which was fun. It would probably be better if I could pin down what was bugging me. But the best I can do is explain what it isn't.

Guilt- Despite my mother's constant reminders that they are paying for a large part of my schooling, I refuse to feel bad about the fact. They could decide to not pay, and I would find my own way through, albeit with lots of loans.

Homesickness- Bah. I am confident that I can take care of myself, and even though I do enjoy my life here, I am actually far more excited about getting out on my own a bit more.

Fear of Scholastic failure- Again, I have to give this one a bah. While my grades in high school have not been stellar, my test scores and ACT scores have been very good. I see no problems with classes.

Unsure of degree/Future- Yeah, a bit, but that is a very different, and recognizable feeling. I'm not sure that CompSci is for me, but I know I still have a chance to change that.

So, I end up in the same place, I know what is isn't, but the anxiety remains. Other than that, though, things have been going very well. I just finished "the fountainhead" by Ayn Rand, and it was just as good as "atlas Shrugged" and just as challenging.

My spring-break-that-wasn't is now over, and i have school tmorrow, hopefully more on actual events tomorrow. Maybe.