A young man, but at good man. Tuesday, May 10, 2005 |
So my father insists.
And so after putting it off for over a week, this post comes to be. My periodic funk had/has returned, and at its worst, about three days before my last post, I once again found myself contemplating suicide. Not to worry, the feeling passes after just a few hours, and soon enough only disgust for how sad even considering such a cowardly thing remains. Even at it's worst, I know that I could never bring myself to do it, which makes me wonder why i get to that point in the first place. As usual nothing particularly unpleasant had happened before the onslaught of angst, but suddenly I find myself snapping at my parents, and letting le smallest of comments get to me. I fear that one day, this may cause me to hurt Merna. Maybe going 8 hours away to MTU is a good thing, in this respect. Anyway, that has passed, mostly.
And now to more current events. Prom has come and gone as of Saturday night, and a grand old time was had by all. My parents were still an annoyance, as I was the only person there to actually have a curfew, damnit. I honestly don't know what my mother is going to do without somebody to be over-protective to. But on the whole, Prom was a lot of fun. The VW's social life has become far more complex then is worth explaining here. His complex web of freinds, however, brought this conversation up, however. This, btw is oce again about his own Dream Girl, Train Wreck. The Hopeless/Helpless pair once again. And this time they both realize that they like each other.
mage_002 (12:05:24 AM): oh...and CTS? I dunno about this but...Train Wreck really wants to walk with me for graduation
Chapstick (12:07:12 AM): isokay
mage_002 (12:07:37 AM): you sure? you dont mind if I walk with her?
mage_002 (12:08:06 AM): cause I'm sure she could find someone else if she needed to
Chapstick (12:08:25 AM): ... whatever
mage_002 (12:09:33 AM): alright, I guess...I still feel kinda bad, but I'm sure you understand, I would love to walk with her too
This just a week after he said he was ditching walking with her to do it with me. jeesus, first his comment from March 11, now this shit. I accepted that we weren’t really as close as we once were, even though he insists we are, but ditching me to walk with her on graduation. Jesus. I am happy for the both of them that the get it now, that they have finally been able to see what i have been telling them for well over a year now, but god, am I really that pathetic? That a friendship that has been around since I moved to this goddamnd town gets shoved aside for more popular, socially correct friends? Damnit. I give up.
Sorry for the lack of good news.
And so after putting it off for over a week, this post comes to be. My periodic funk had/has returned, and at its worst, about three days before my last post, I once again found myself contemplating suicide. Not to worry, the feeling passes after just a few hours, and soon enough only disgust for how sad even considering such a cowardly thing remains. Even at it's worst, I know that I could never bring myself to do it, which makes me wonder why i get to that point in the first place. As usual nothing particularly unpleasant had happened before the onslaught of angst, but suddenly I find myself snapping at my parents, and letting le smallest of comments get to me. I fear that one day, this may cause me to hurt Merna. Maybe going 8 hours away to MTU is a good thing, in this respect. Anyway, that has passed, mostly.
And now to more current events. Prom has come and gone as of Saturday night, and a grand old time was had by all. My parents were still an annoyance, as I was the only person there to actually have a curfew, damnit. I honestly don't know what my mother is going to do without somebody to be over-protective to. But on the whole, Prom was a lot of fun. The VW's social life has become far more complex then is worth explaining here. His complex web of freinds, however, brought this conversation up, however. This, btw is oce again about his own Dream Girl, Train Wreck. The Hopeless/Helpless pair once again. And this time they both realize that they like each other.
mage_002 (12:05:24 AM): oh...and CTS? I dunno about this but...Train Wreck really wants to walk with me for graduation
Chapstick (12:07:12 AM): isokay
mage_002 (12:07:37 AM): you sure? you dont mind if I walk with her?
mage_002 (12:08:06 AM): cause I'm sure she could find someone else if she needed to
Chapstick (12:08:25 AM): ... whatever
mage_002 (12:09:33 AM): alright, I guess...I still feel kinda bad, but I'm sure you understand, I would love to walk with her too
This just a week after he said he was ditching walking with her to do it with me. jeesus, first his comment from March 11, now this shit. I accepted that we weren’t really as close as we once were, even though he insists we are, but ditching me to walk with her on graduation. Jesus. I am happy for the both of them that the get it now, that they have finally been able to see what i have been telling them for well over a year now, but god, am I really that pathetic? That a friendship that has been around since I moved to this goddamnd town gets shoved aside for more popular, socially correct friends? Damnit. I give up.
Sorry for the lack of good news.